this afternoon, i just received a piece of tragic news.

my dear friend, you will never be forgotten.
how you always said that i resembled your sister a lot.
that was my privilege,
how you worked extremely hard for your studies.
how you went to the basketball court and played with us.
how you hanged out and fooled around with us.
WE love you, indeed.
28/08/06.
may you rest in peace..

___________

dunno what to say, i'm still shocked.

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
11:59 PM<3
|

how to cut 29metres wrapping paper ALONE in one night?
somebody tell me.
oh, plus econs essay, written report and 2 chemistry tutorials to do as well.

it is not that i do not want to utilise the manpowers.
some of the manpowers even refused to be utilised.
i am just being very frank here.

moreover, my dear friend, named migraine, strikes back.
and the stomach has been growling non-stop.
okay, this is suicidal.
anything could happen this morning.
do not know when is the limit for your body.
thanks.

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
4:08 AM<3
|

I was young
but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless
As you turn around to leave
And still I have the pain
I have to carry
A past so deep
That even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything
Would be like it was before
But nights like this
It seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more
Then you will ever know
And part of me died
When I let you go

(( Blind - Lifehouse ))

was i blind?

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
2:00 AM<3
|

stuck with my dear written report, econs essay, maths tutorial and the thought of 155photo frames.

great.

am not trying to complain, but sharing what am having right now.

duh.

and to make the matter worse, am BROKE. yes, B-R-O-K-E! and i will be until the allowance from moe comes.. which is around first week of term 4. nice try! how to survive with only $20? somebody tell me how, pls.

anyway, heh kuda! your life is so nice already kie! lols.. your parents just visited you last month, then they came again two days ago.. wahhh, so nice.. lols.. means, i can have my caramel frappucino, right? lols.. *hint hint!*

hmm.. must start mugging from now on! hehe..
promo is just 4weeks away.. die! shucks.
it's not that i didn't put in effort, it's just that the effort put in is simply inversely proportional to the outcome, aka the result i got. sigh.
kickie!
_____________

it makes me think: why on earth some of us need to study so hard, achieve awards here and there and graduated from the super prestigious university if in the end [for the girls] only end up in the kitchen, cooking for your family or waiting for your dear husband to come home and [for the guys] cannot find any work that you are desired for?

however, i cannot deny that higher education and paper qualifications are so darn important in this life, well, at least that is what according to the society nowadays. trust me.

another thing. hmm.

how would you feel when your partner is more academically-inclined than you are? well.. personally, i would feel quite inferior to him. that is what i can think of, in an instant. if i think it deeper, actually it does not really matter as long as he is supportive enough =)

taken from personal experience, HE was less academically-inclined than me, frankly speaking. when it came to examination, he would seek for help in panic. as in, help from someone who could teach him some of his weaker subjects, e.g: physics and maths. well, since he was one of my precious then, of course i took initiative by offering help in order for him to pass (with flying colours). i did help him. however, last year, i just found out that he was actually feeling like a loser because he thought that he sucked at academic matters and he was also saying that everything would be very easy for me since i was more academically-inclined than him.

well, life is not always like what you want it to be. i used to believe that hardwork pays off and you can do anything you want as long as you put in your utmost effort. hmm.. now i need to modify it a bit.. it is true that hardwork pays off.. but we also need luck in our lives. hardwork without luck is just like coffee without sugar. you can choose whether to drink a bitter coffee or sweetened one. same goes to hardwork and luck. well, it is just an ambiguous analogy, i can say.. =)
_________

anyway.. it is already 0134 now. i need to get some sleep. YES, sleep! haha.. okay, i shall end off here.. bye-

~ you don't know me, you don't even care ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
12:09 AM<3
|

yup yup yup!
lols...
the most important thing to do in this life:
buy a popcorn and drink, then you go up to the waiting area at the cinema,
then you start eating there and watching some movie trailers.
and after you have finished eating, you just left the cinema, oblivious to those who stare at you and start thinking that you are weird.
lols!
nevertheless, it is worth of fun! haha.. =D

anyway..
just read one of my friends' blog.
hmm.. ya, actually it is quite true that:
when we are waiting for something to come, it will not come easily,
but when we least expect it, it will come to you slowly, but sure.
lols..

today i went to ikea with ash, mich and mr tks.
we bought the things needed for the teachers' day gifts.
in total, we bought 155 of them.
wow!
then went back to school and started on them!
3 of us, tried to do 155 p.f.
wow!
what an effort!
lols..
then mich left, mx came.
ash left, kaiting came.
in the end onli kaiting, mx and i left to do the rest.
hmm..
nvm, it's fun anw(:

then, i wanted to take mrt to town to meet tina..
but dunno how to get there..
in the end, mx walked me there.. lols
thanks! (:
oh, along the way he was damn shocked!
until he could not close his jaw.
okay, i know u only pretended doing that, but yeah, it is too shocking rite? haha.. =P

gile banget, skrg banyak org indo dimana2.. kemana pasti ketemunya org indo mulu gt.. gile.. haha.. anw gw baru makan keripik ceker ayam ama kue semprong.. wahhh enakkk!! hehe.. kiriman makanan baru dateng sih kmrn haha.. dah gt ada majalah lg.. senangnya hahaha..
adooohhhh.. rahang gw uda sakit lg neh.. sial.. gw ga mau tragedi rahang terulang lg.. sial banget dah itu! buuuuuhhhh... hahaha...

anyway uda dulu ah.. cape.. ga tau mau ngetik apa lg.. haha.. males upload poto pun haha.. kapan2 la.. mau belajar dulu mungkin haha.. potosnitesis neh notesnya lagi gw pegang.. doain saya berhasil! hehe.. selamat malam! (:

~ a whole new world ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
11:22 PM<3
|

hmm,,
okay.. this is what i've been observing:

1. it happens most of the time: when someone sits at the outer side of the seat on the bus, he/she will be super lazy to just get his/her a*s away. he/she will just then turn their leg and body to the left or right, hoping that the person inside, who is desperately trying to get out of that bloody seat, will be able to make his/her way out safely. and ignoring the fact that the outer person is sometimes just not small enough to create the walking space for the inner person. ok, point noted. shall elaborate more on the next entry since am quite rushing now. hmm..

2. some teenagers are just horny, to be frank. pda. drawing people's attention. duh! ok, maybe it's the way to show the stead how much he/she loves his/her gf/bf. but puhh-leassseee, when you are wearing your school uniform and you're doing it? pls rethink abt it again. how if there are some people who are just against it and then these people write a complaint letter to your school? brings a disgrace to your school and ruins your good reputation in school. not that i am jealous or what-so-ever, but i guess what i think is quite true. hmm. there is nothing that i should be jealous of anyway. haha..

kk.. i shall end off here. will elaborate more tomorrow, i think. lols.. got to go now. ciaoz.

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
12:56 AM<3
|

buh buh buh.
effing pissed.
shucks.

anyway,
today had mass yoga display rehearsal.
hmm, then got these three students from juying sec,
attached to my class.
so, they followed us for every lessons we have.
lols.
practically, my class only had bio prac, chem tutorial and bio lecture for today.
oh and learning journey, but too bad they didn't join us for the learning journey haha..

kk, speaking of learning journey.
hmm.
went to evergreen, old folks home in tampines.
wah, it doesn't look like an old folks home.
it is an HDB flat.
so, this organisation owns this block of HDB.
then the elderly can rent the 1-room flat at the rate of S$60,000/30yrs.
the place is kinda cool.
even gina wants to retire and stays there, lols xD
since she enjoys watching tv a lot, that's exactly most of the elderly spend their time for.
lols xD

hmm..
i still cannot get that thing out of my mind.
shucks.
serious.
darn.
why is it happening to me?
argh.
kk, i dun care whether that person knows.
this thing is darn frustrating.

oh anyway..
thanks to ash and germ!
for the gingerbread men!
lols..
though the legs are broken.
hehe..
then i accidentally broke the right arm =(
haha..
but still, thanks a lot!
lurveeees! (:

oh yes, if just happen that 4e2 ppl read this..
we are planning to have lunch together on the teachers' day eve..
so, pls make yourself free on that day hehe..
and i just remember that i have not collected my o-level cert haha..
and zhi xiang, they are so not going to confiscate it!
haha.. =P

oh my.
am still slacking and lazing around here!
i need to STUDY!!
yes, yes, study.
mugging, anyone?
lols xD

anyway, am going to sleep now..
shall end here hehe..
nitez-

~ i will if it is worth waiting for ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
12:08 AM<3
|

today didn't have yoga =(
we ran 2rounds for PC, then played games.
i played badminton with the teacher.
lols.
he's damn pro! =)

then PW.
nothing much.
talked about the WR and stuffs.

then econs lecture.
as usual.
nothing special.

maths tutorial.
just like another tutorial.

GP tutorial.
did AQ.
quite interesting.
GP essay is very interesting actually(:
provided if my english is good.
if not, it will be darn frustrating.
haha.. =P

after that,
council meeting.
then thrashing session.
reached hostel at around 2225.
then showered.
studied chem for tml SPA.
wish me luck ya(:
am damn scared!
argh.

and here i am..
blogging.
AGAIN.
haha..
i'll be going off to lalala~ land soon!
haha..

ok.
keep on moving(:

will be posting up some super cool photos soon.
including 'smaller than the water bottle'.
haha.. rmb, gina, amrita and fatimah? lols..
hmm, soon la ya..
since i have not uploaded the photos from my handphone.
lols.
result of all the boredom which struck us during maths tutorial.
haha.. ^^

kk.
am going off now.
nitez-

~ and i give up forever to touch you ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
12:02 AM<3
|

haha.
well.
life goes on(:

if you cannot have what you love, then love what you have

lols.

anyway.
today i met up with cencen and bella!
yayyysss!
i have not met cencen for almost six years i think.
haha, it's just nice to meet up with frens whom you never meet for a long long time! (:
we went to eat @esteler cineleisure.
then took neoprints.
2times.
one kena the retarded machine.
grr! haha.
nvm, but we enjoyed ourselves.
lols.
then bella went home, coz she got lotsa assignment to do.
JIAYOUUU!(:
then cencen and i walked around for a while.
parted at orchard mrt.
i took bus 106 from orchard boulevard.
she took mrt to cityhall.
oh gosh!
means i must wait until at least next year to be able to see her again.
aih. =(
((cencen, you're missed by ME, lols))

oh, i also just found out that my 'twins', pupi, actually got into Fakultas Ekonomi Universitas Indonesia. oh gosh! she's so cool!
she was from science stream.
yet, she worked super hard to learn all those arts stream materials.
and she managed to get into FE UI!
i salute you, gal! (:
oh, anyway, i have not seen this gal for quite some time as well.
for almost 3years.
sigh.
that is quite long actually.
hmm.

some random thoughts.
hmm. wonder how is 02682810 doing right now. lols.
have not heard from him for quite some time.
hmm.

wonder when the allowance will come.
we are all BROKE. puhh-leasse.
and they're gonna deduct $20 from my account next week.
oh great.

have been a super super super slacker for these few weeks.
darn me.
promo is just 5weeks away.
shoot.
am effing worried abt promos.

oh and some ppl are bugging me 24/7.
as if they are the holiest creatures on earth.
oh well.
they are effing pretending to be effing one.
dun try to please me by acting effing cute in front of me.
even when i asked some no-brainer questions.
they did not get the hint.
wonder what is inside their effing brain.
hmm.
or maybe the question for them is:
DO THEY EVEN HAVE A BRAIN?
i wonder. hmm.

i shall log off now.
or else i'll be an irritant, swearing more and more vulgarities here and there.
phew.
get lost!

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
1:38 AM<3
|

ain't gonna show no weakness
i'm gonna smile and tell the whole world i'm fine
i'm gonna keep my senses
but deep down when no one can hear me
baby, i'll be crying for you

((why do i love you-westlife))

hmm..
well..
it represents me well.
yeah.

hmm..
just reached hostel, gala dinner.
performed mass dance.
totally was not in the mood of mass dancing.
until mr tan, amira, bryan and esther kept reminding me to smile(:
haha..
ohwell..
the performance went well
people there were emotionally high.

hmm.
tomorrow going to meet cencen and bella.
excited. hehe.
long time never meet them(:
esp cencen.
it's been 4 or 5 years since the last time i met her hehe..

hmm.
why is this happening to me?
again.
shucks.
i've been anticipating.
sensing this since dunno when.
but it still happens.
oh my.
i admit my instinct is damn good.
great.
what should i do now?
stay on or giving up?
dammit.

~ it hurts me so, even to see your eyes ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
12:31 AM<3
|

MERDEKA!
yayyss!!
happy national day, indo! (:
61st anniv! lols..

this morning i went to embassy of indo..
wah.. kangen banget!
miss the flag raising ceremony..
it was utterly cool!
haha..
after missed it for 2yrs consecutively, finally i got the chance to attend it!
wow!!
then ate 'lontong sayur'!!
argh!!
it was freakingly delicious.
haha..

well, didn't have any photos.. lols..
nvm..
haha..

kkie.. i was fascinated by this radio blog thing.
but still trying to find out where i should put all the songs.
lol xD

well, everything happens for a reason.
but, why can't i find a single reason for that?
hmm..

now, am in oh-crap-i-dun-feel-like-going-to-school mood..
i want to go home=(

so many things in my mind.
life is not always like what we want to.
there are always limitations for everything we do.
sigh.
i dunno why suddenly i talk like that.
these few days,
i've been so 'blur'.
i dunno what i am really doing.
shucks.
my whole life is so effing confusing.
am tired.
am disappointed.
am stuck.
oh hell yeah.

dunno what to write anymore.
am so lost.

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
11:03 PM<3
|

shucks.
common test results are out.
dang!
failed bio.
badly.
sh*t.

anyway, let's forget abt that.
what is done is done.
can't change anymore.
just work hard for promos.
sigh.
wish me luck then(:

here i upload some photos again(:











i like this one(: taken @my shop in indo on my birthday.. =D










pardon me for being narcissistic =P










my super lame bud, ricky! haha..










my super 'dun bother' dance partner, ji xiang! (:










wah.. i look damn dao eh! haha..










ASEANcomm after sentosa outing! (:

yayyys!!
more and more photos to come!! haha.. xD

hmm..
btw, i was damn pissed off few days ago.
shall not tell here. haha..

my skin is peeling off!
ohmy!
sunburnt!
haha..
and now am so darkkkk! haha..
anyway..
gtg nw.. haha..
tata~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
11:27 PM<3
|

just woke up.
AGAIN,
slept from 5.30 p.m. until now, 01.30 a.m....
wth.
yesterday,
slept all the way from 5.30 p.m. until 06.00 a.m....
that was even crazier.
SIGH.
what is happening to me???

hmm..
let's talk about leadership camp first.
nice! (:
yet, there are still rooms for improvement.
but overall, yay!! (:
thanks to all who put in lotsa effort in this =D

today.
feeling quite tired.
but luckily, all my lessons today were not that bad.
PC, did yoga (:
PW, nothing.
ECONS, lecture abt monopoly, etc..
MATHS, test paper. oh pls, am so disappointed. shucks.
GP extra lesson, TCA paper. not that bad, but still i believe i can do better than that (:

anyway..
hmm..
how do you know whether you love, like, admire or just feel comfortable being beside somebody?
this thought suddenly popped into my mind, after i saw my friend's MSN nickname..

well, for my case,
i admit that that i ADMIRE a lot of ppl, like lotsa ppl, feel comfortable being beside few ppl and love once or twice.
all the feelings are different, yes.

i do admire people, esp for whatever they have done either to someone else or me.. lols..
i like ppl because of some reasons. for instance, they are nice, supportive and reasonable(:
i feel comfortable being beside some ppl because i am me with them around(:
i love someone because ............. (hmm, i shall go back to this SOMEDAY, hehe)

well.. just for some random thoughts.. haha..
i shall go back to sleep now haha..
nitez ppl (:

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
1:56 AM<3
|

today.
went out to watch "Hard Candy".
hmm..
cannot say much about the movie..
a bit weird eh..
quite confusing haha..
in the end got confused by that haha..

then gossiped around with vero haha..
it was fun! lols..

nothing much for today haha..

oh ya, here i upload some of the photos from ASEANdance and sports carnival! hehe..





































not that many though..
will be uploading another set of photos soon.. haha..

oh, talking abt SOON..
yes, my dear friend, how soon is soon? haha..
how i wish to.. haha.. =D

am going to sleep now.. haha..
darn tired.
lols..
goodnight~ (:

~ share some love, you ain't that tough ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
2:07 AM<3
|

it's 0300 a.m. now.
again, i cannot even close my eyes and relax or what we call SLEEP..
sigh..
lotsa things come into my mind.
for the umpteenth time.

when can i have a peaceful and joyful life?

i should force myself to sleep.
YES. to SLEEP.

I'm so much better than you guessed
I'm so much bigger than you guessed
I'm so much brighter than you guessed

It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same
I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok
I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed
I'll get off of your back
(( I Think God Can Explain - Splender ))

can somebody just save me and tell me what to do now?

i've lost myself.

~ goodnights ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
3:03 AM<3
|

hmm..
today, natl day eve.
morning assembly.
leaders' investiture.
sports carnival.

the leaders looked v cai when they recited the pledge. hehe..

then, sports carnival!
the mascots are COOL!
esp, BIKILA!!
whee, be the best, be the blacks! (:
sherman and zaidi were super cool!! hehe..
i'll be uploading some photos some other time hehe..

i waved bikila's flag!
whee!! (:
nice nice!
cheered for my HOUSE!
played tug-of-war!
tough competition against RONO.
but, finally BIKILA wins!
yayyy!! (:
and that earned 20 of us a MEDAL each!
my first medal! lols.. =D

bikila might be the last, but nvm..
we had FUN, didn't we?? (:
kristy LOVES bikila!! <3

after that, we packed up.
cleared the grandstand up.
then played tennis!
yayyy!!
with mx, yl, chianlim and jacinda!
so niceeee!!
long time i never played tennis!
haha..
i was like a clown playing tennis! haha..
forgot all what i've learned.. haha..
our tennis game was so entertaining! =D

after that, i played the RISK!
was like an idiot playing with the experts! haha..
then went home..
slept.
woke up, had my super cold dinner.
felt v sad actually.

at home, you used to eat with you family..
now you have to eat alone..
hmm..

anyway..
am going off now..
dunno what else to write.. haha..
am still sick of those few things anw.. haiz..

~ pls reflect on what you have done and said ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
11:29 PM<3
|

yes.
today is really MY DAY.
my foot la.

in the morning, was damn pissed off by the l********s..
gave me attitude some more.
looked at me with all those hatred in your faces.
like wth.

then, maths tutorial.
shall not say anything.
am truly deeply disappointed.
stunned for few minutes.
had a great impact on me for the whole day.

then stayed back to help out with the house stuffs for tomorrow's sports carnival.
and waited for 3hrs for the dry run to start.
but, halfway could not take everything alr.
stomach cramp, damn painful skin, headache, irritated, annoyed, pissed off by lotsa ppl, etc..
decided to go home..

reached home.
slept straight away.
slept for 3hrs.
then took my super cold dinner at the general office.
even though i've slept for 3hrs, few of my friends said i look super tired.

oh yes, am sick and tired of everything.
why can't you just let me live peacefully?
and it's such a pleasure for me to entertain your bs.
whatever.

let's recall something more fun. seriously fun, i mean.

YESTERDAY!

went sentosa with some of the ASEANcomm!
but too bad only 10ppl turned up in the end.
*kristy, nanett, michell, arthya, esther, irma, shirley, junhow, chia wei, singwei*
nvm, we had lotsa fun, didn't we?? (:

swimmed across to the small island.. haha..
nice!
floated and played around haha..
took some pictures!
then, had debrief with ms lim..

oh, since JunHow reminded me of this..
i shall post this up..
"i used to break out in rashes..
but nowadays, so many people tell me..
your skin is moreeeeee beauuuutifulllll than before.."
LOL! ROFL! hahaha.. retardoooo! haha..

called Gerard, greeted him happy birthday together..
Happy birthday Gerard!
we'll be waiting for your treat! lols..

reached hostel at around 10..
then showered, then straight away fell asleep..
woke up at 5.30.. wow!

anyway, nanett, irma or esther, could you pls upload the pics? hehe.. (:
thanks! ^^

i want more OUTINGS! hehe..
___________

i want to watch tokyo drift! (:

__________

shall sign off now. tired.
kk.. nitez ppl! (:

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
12:11 AM<3
|

okay..
i've made a decision..
FINALLY..
and it will not change, unless YOU really want to change it.

anyway..
today went to school at ard 1245+ coz i woke up late..
helped to paint BIKILA bigggggg banner!
it was nice (:

then,
wanted to have my haircut..
went to centrepoint..
met tina..
but found out all the salons are way too expensive..
cancelled my plan..
but will try to go to the Anchorage to find another cheaper salon (:

next,
headed to Plaza Singapura..
on our way, i met some of my JJ friends..
they were nice.. hehe.. =D
continued walking to PS while our eyes are wandering, looking through the nice shop selling all those nice accessories! (:

reached PS..
ate @Carl's Jr.
one of the cashier is an indon..
and suddenly when we were about to sit,
he said,"maap ya mbak, dibersihin dulu mejanya."
(sorry, can i clean the table first pls?)
haha.. quite funny..

bought adidas deodorant spray @john little..
oh, and tina also bought it! haha.. (:

then went to fila..
i got this nice t-shirt..
red and yellow in colour, like Spain t-shirt..
got 'futbol' printed on it..
and '7' on the back!
reminds me of my dear Raul (:

went to buy card reader.
shucks.
bought already but cannot use.
need a card adapter.
dang!

wanted to go to flash 'n splash, but it closed alr. =(
nevermind!

my wishlist for now: *haha*
- a very nice-smelling perfume =)
- a jacket or whatever you call it, the one looks like demmi's one.. hehe..

okay.. am signing off now.. it's already 0236 a.m. now..

tata~ goodnite!

~ but if destiny decides that i should look the other way ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
2:31 AM<3
|

2nd entry of the day.

just now heard maliq n d' essentials' song played in the radio..
untitled, but in english!
nice nice(:
but dunno whether it is sung by maliq or not..
still, it's so cool (:

tried to sleep since 2340++.. but still cannot..
and now it's already 0223..
there are just too many things in my mind..

just being too emo these days.
shucks.

i need miracles.
SAVE me!

~ tell me what do you do when it all falls apart ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
2:25 AM<3
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am sick and tired of everything.

dammit.

hell yeah with all those ppl.

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
12:04 AM<3
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yeeeeeahhh..
common test is over (:

guess i flunk my bio paper.
oh my.
and my friends still could ask me to relax!
grr!!
haha.. jk.. haha..
well, what is done is done. lols..
just EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED (:

anyway..
hmm.. tomorrow supposedly no sch..
but got sc meeting at 2.30..
then leaders' invest rehearsal at 4..
hmm..

move on.

hmm.. ya, am still wondering why, my dear friend..
*you know who you are (:*
maybe you are right..
it's just for a short while
i'll tell you something what i've heard today someday (:

hmm..
am back to my usual habit, especially during prelims and o-level period of time.. haha..
now am addicted to listening to radio again! haha..
and yesss, i found lotsa lotsa niceeeeeeeeeee songSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS =)
i <3 music! haha..

i shall end here..
since i feel very hungry now.. lols...
anyone got something to eat? hahaha.. xD

~ iamnotmissingyou ~

..waiting for my rocket to come at..
9:33 PM<3
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